Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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