Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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