Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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