Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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