Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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