Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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