Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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