Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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