Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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