Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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