Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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