Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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