Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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