Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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