Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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