Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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