Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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