Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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