Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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