Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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