Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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