Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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