Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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