Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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