Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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