Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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