Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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