Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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