Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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