Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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