Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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