Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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