Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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