Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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