Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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