Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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