Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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