Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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