Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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