Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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