Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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