Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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