Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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