Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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