Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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