Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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