Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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