Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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