Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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