Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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