Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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