Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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