Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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