Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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