Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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