Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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