Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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