Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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