Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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