Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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