Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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