Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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