Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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