Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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