Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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