Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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