Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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