Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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