Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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