Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.

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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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