Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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