Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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