Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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