Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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