Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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