Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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