Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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