Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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