Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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