Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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