Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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