Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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