Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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