Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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