Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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