Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.


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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.

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