Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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