Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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