Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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