Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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