Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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