Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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