Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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