Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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