Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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