Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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