Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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