Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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