Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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