Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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