Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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