Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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