Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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