Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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