Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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