Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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