Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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