Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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