Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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