Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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