Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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