Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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