Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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