Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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