Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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