Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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