Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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