Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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