Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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