Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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