Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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