Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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