Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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