Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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