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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?
Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50
Senator.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?
Camelflauge
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?
"Trike or Treat"?
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When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?
Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."
The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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