Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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