Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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