Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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