Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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