Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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