Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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