Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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