Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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