Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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