Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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