Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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