Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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