Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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