Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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