Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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