Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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