Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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