Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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