Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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