Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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