Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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