Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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