Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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