Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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