Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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