Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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