Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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