Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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