Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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