Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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