Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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