Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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