Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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