Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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