Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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