Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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