Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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