Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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