Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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