Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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