Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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