Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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