Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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