Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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