Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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