Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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