Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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