Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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