Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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A seal walks into a club...
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