Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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