Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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