Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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