Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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