Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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