Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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