Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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