Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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