Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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