Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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