Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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