Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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