Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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