Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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