Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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