Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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