Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!

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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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