Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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