Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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