Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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