Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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