Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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