Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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