Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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