Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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