Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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