Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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