Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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