Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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