Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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