Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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