Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!

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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?

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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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