Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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