Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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