Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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