Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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