Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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