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Why don't aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?
In his trunk
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?
Lipstick.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback.
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What do you call a scared train?
A fright train!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said, "Are you two an item?"
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?
She was the fairest in the land.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?
Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.
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