Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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