Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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