Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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