Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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