Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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