Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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