Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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