Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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