Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!

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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.

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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.

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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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