Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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