Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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