Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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