Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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