Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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