Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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