Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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