Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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