Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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