Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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