Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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