Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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