Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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