Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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