Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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