Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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