Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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