Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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