Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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