Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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