Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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