Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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