Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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