Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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