Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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