Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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