Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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