Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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