Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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