Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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