Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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