Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .

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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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