Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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A seal walks into a club...
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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