Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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