Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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