Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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