Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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