Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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