Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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