Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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