Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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