Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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