Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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