Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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